Five Things that Never Happened to Achilles
by mistykasumi
Summary: What the title says. AchillesxPatroclus.


**Five Things that Never Happened to Achilles**

α. standing atop us all

Achilles is invincible.

It is not a known fact, rather a thought lurking in the subconscious of the soldiers, but it is indeed true. Achilles is golden and glorious, the son of a goddess, and he blinds everyone when he fights, effortless power and elegant swiftness, inhumanly strong and utterly beautiful.

At the same time, he has weaknesses, but these are harder to discern, for they are not physical or blatantly manifest, and because they are not, they often escape the common man's notice. He is prouder, vainer, and more arrogant than even Agamemnon, those traits an almost perfect fit for a man like him, a man at the very boundary of immortality.

And then, there is Patroclus. It is not spoken of except in hushed whispers, when Achilles and Patroclus and the Myrmidons are far away. Patroclus is many things Achilles is not, and this stands out in sharp relief when they stand next to each other, beauty and devotion and god and man. This does not eclipse the obvious affection they have for each other, the quick touches and soft glances.

Patroclus's death and Achilles's reaction to it is not unexpected. Many of the Achaeans actually pity Hector, but they only speak of this in low voices when Achilles is out of sight. Achilles is now harsher than before, with no gentleness and compassion to balance him, and not many are brave enough to speak to him, to risk Achilles's wrath. He kills mercilessly, slaughters the Trojans by droves without regard to anything and, by doing so, is helping the Achaeans win the war, but this only makes him even more intimidating.

It _is_ a surprise when Achilles is discovered dead one morning in his tent. There are no wounds on him, but that is to be expected. No clue can be found, and the conclusion is that Achilles was poisoned. No one knows by whom or how or even whether Achilles really did die of poison. Some suspect that he overexerted himself (purposefully or unintentionally depending on the man) until even his god-like body can no longer function, but others think that Achilles committed suicide to join Patroclus in death as in life. The true cause of death will never be discovered.

Centuries later, people will say that Achilles's talent was wasted without even a plausible reason. They will not know of the way Achilles's ashes mingled with Patroclus's in the same way their bodies had joined in life.

* * *

β. you, me, this strange thing between us

Achilles knows who Patroclus is, of course (How can he not know who his cousin is? They had met before, several times, at obligatory family functions.), but he does not know Patroclus well. That does not really matter. They are cousins.

Achilles first tastes Patroclus the day they land on the Trojan beaches. The blood is still fresh on Patroclus's cheek, and Achilles licks it away. His hands are still sticky and red, and when Achilles wraps them around Patroclus's biceps, they leave an imprint. _You are mine_, although it does not even need to be expressed. They have been attracted to each other ever since they first saw each other, an unknown bond linking them. Now, they are older, and the attraction has become sexual in addition to everything else it already was.

Ten years pass swiftly, ten years of fierce fighting and lingering passion. Achilles and Patroclus have become entrenched within each other in this time, this strange bond pulling them closer and closer together until they are almost one man.

When Agamemnon takes Briseis, Achilles stops fighting. Instead, he spends his days with Patroclus. It is refreshing, not wearing armor and lazing about, in bed together or playing the lyre or hands full of sweet oil rubbing upon beautiful skin, and they can almost pretend that this is how it can be, after the war, if not for the sound of fighting and smell of death around them.

Achilles does not accept the gifts Agamemnon gives him in an attempt to bribe him to fight again, and the Trojans advance steadily forward. One night, his Myrmidons report that the Trojans are at the ships, but Achilles merely laughs before turning back to Patroclus. The sex that night is harsh, but the touches are so gentle, almost unbelievable from two men born as warriors, and there is something in the way Patroclus moans against Achilles's shoulder, the way Achilles twists his fingers into Patroclus's hair.

When Dawn approaches and Patroclus starts to rise, Achilles pulls him back into bed. "Our ships—" Patroclus begins, but Achilles silences him with a kiss. When they break away, Achilles smiles, devilish teasing at the corners of his lips, and when Patroclus looks into Achilles's eyes, he knows he will not resist whatever Achilles wants from him, definitely not at this moment and perhaps never.

"Stay with me. We'll guard the ships together later," Achilles breathes, eyes hooded, and Patroclus does not argue, just kisses him.

* * *

γ. your utter importance

Achilles dies when he learns the news.

He doesn't physically die, of course, but Achilles's humanity dies that day. In later ages, people will wonder whether things would have occurred differently if the Achaeans were able to keep Patroclus's body, whether the pain and grief of only losing Patroclus and not his body as well would have merely made Achilles colder and harsher instead of changing him into an emotionless killing machine.

The Achaeans easily push the Trojans back to their walls, and Achilles is always in the midst of the battle, at the front, killing blindly and without regard to anything. At the end of the day, he is always blood-spattered, chariot full of the spoils he took from those he killed. Everyone thinks this is a form of revenge, to rob his enemies the same way they robbed him.

Achilles thinks of nothing except the way Patroclus would have reacted if he had told him _this is for you_. They are all gifts to Patroclus, the armor and personal trinkets, but Patroclus will never receive them. That is not the point.

Achilles steals Hector's body after he kills him. He still does not know where Patroclus's body is, but he knows Hector was one of the Trojans who fought the battle for it, and he will not let Hector rest. Every morning, Achilles drags Hector's corpse around the Achaean camp; the soldiers pity Hector, but they will not risk their lives. They would not have even when Achilles was still normal.

Priam arrives with bribes one night, cloaks and shrouds and bars of gold and silver, but Achilles refuses him. He tells Priam that he will only return Hector's body when he is given Patroclus's body back. Priam says he does not know where the body is, and Achilles dismisses him. He knows that Priam has the favor of the gods, but Achilles does not care anymore. Everyone has to answer to the Fates, anyway.

Despite the increased pressure on Troy, the Achaeans still cannot breach the city walls. But Poseidon plants an idea in Odysseus, and Odysseus suddenly realizes, one day, what it means to begin with an apple and end with a horse.

Achilles is one of the party in the horse, and he is one of the first to set foot in Troy that night. He splits off from the rest of the group and hunts for Patroclus's body, killing everyone in his way.

It is unsurprising, almost expected, that Achilles dies when he finally finds Patroclus. Achilles is not watching around him when he lowers his head and mourns Patroclus, and that is when Paris shoots an arrow at him, one that Apollo guides to Achilles's only vulnerability.

The next day, the Achaeans find Achilles's body slumped over Patroclus's in a temple near the palace. A double funeral is held for them, and their ashes are poured into the same urn, which the Achaeans bury in the center of Troy.

Hector receives no funeral.

* * *

δ. what i must do for you

When Patroclus asks, Achilles says no. It is terribly selfish of him, but Achilles is selfish. Why should he not be? Patroclus is his, has been his since childhood, and Achilles will not send him to fight another man's war, fight with and for people who allow him to be dishonored.

Patroclus sulks, and Achilles lets him. He knows Patroclus can be unyielding, but this, this is born out of something greater than pride. Achilles will defend his own ships if he must, but he will not send his men to fight for men who wrong him, especially not Patroclus, his most beloved in the world.

They go to defend the ships when a Myrmidon alerts them of the advancing Trojans. Other ships are mutilated, broken, but no Trojan ever touches any of the Myrmidons' ships. Patroclus looks at him expectantly, but Achilles will not heed his intentions.

Just Achilles's presence is enough to rouse the morale of the Achaean army, however, and they beat the Trojans back. Achilles points this out to Patroclus, but Patroclus's mouth remains a grim line. Achilles will not do what Patroclus wants, not this time.

Achilles goes to Patroclus that night, demure and yielding, firelight illuminating and shadowing golden skin. Patroclus takes him, mouth angry and hands hard, and Achilles lets him. Afterward, Achilles tells Patroclus he will fight to prevent an Achaean loss. Patroclus says that they have been losing, that they probably _are_ about to lose. Achilles shrugs and says that he will fight if this is indeed the case.

A bitter stalemate between the Achaeans and the Trojans lasts for two weeks. On the first day of the third week, Patroclus, fed up with the pointless battle, rises early and puts on Achilles's armor, then leads the Achaeans into battle.

Achilles awakens to the sounds of battle, and when he notices Patroclus and his armor missing, he is furious. Achilles puts on Patroclus's armor and rushes into battle, heedlessly killing anyone in his way as he makes a straight path to the front, to where Patroclus must be.

He arrives to see Euphorbus yanking his spear out of Patroclus, and Achilles rushes up to him as Euphorbus drives away. Patroclus is swaying, weak, and Achilles grabs a hold of him. His hold only tightens when he sees Hector, determined eyes set upon Patroclus.

Achilles throws his spear at Hector. Hector blocks it with his shield, and by the time he lowers it, Achilles and Patroclus are gone.

* * *

ε. the way you take over me

The sounds of fighting have long since left the ships. Achilles sits outside his tent, waiting for Patroclus to return. There are bodies lying a ways off, Trojan and Achaean, and Achilles thinks, _I will not forgive you if you return as one of them_.

He hears a great uproar, and Achilles rises, fingers clenching and unclenching, needing to feel the solid curve of a spear in his hand and wanting to know what has just happened. Despite this, Achilles does not go. He is much too proud to just admit defeat to Agamemnon like that. And Achilles trusts Patroclus. He _must_ trust Patroclus.

Achilles just hopes that the glory he asked for from Zeus does not come at the price of Patroclus. It is not that he doesn't want glory. It is just that he wants Patroclus more. Needs him, even.

The idle waiting is horrid. Achilles can hear the sound of fighting, the sound of men dying and yelling, the sound of spears and swords clashing together, but he does not know what is happening. Achilles does not want to guess because he will not be able to stop his mind from wandering upon that worst path possible.

Another great uproar, and Achilles expects a runner with news. He does not expect to see Patroclus himself return to the ships, blood on his armor and a smile upon his face, pride evident in the very posture of his body. Truthfully, Achilles does not expect Patroclus at all, despite what he has told himself. He knows all too well how pride and glory can grip a warrior in their clutches and refuse to let go.

"I've returned, just like you told me," Patroclus says, and Achilles feels a rush of emotion in his heart at his Patroclus standing before him, safe and glorious and so so beloved to him.

Achilles takes his own armor off of Patroclus inside the lodge, hands laying for a long moment upon each new section of golden skin and hard muscle revealed, and they both know what Achilles means. _You are mine. I will never forgive you if you die like that. I love you._

The sex is a beautiful tangle of golden limbs and passion and smooth familiarity, skin against skin and mouth against mouth and hands clamped around hips and biceps, hearts so close yet so far but always closer than farther, an old rhythm sung in a new voice. It is a tumult of emotions, of love and need and want and preciousness and tenderness and treasuring and cherishing and always, always, of a connection that will not be broken.

Patroclus breathes a harsh _always_ into Achilles's ear before he comes, and that is enough. That will always be enough.

05.10.0


End file.
